It's the simple things, right? Like slip-on shoes, "This End Up" signs, and pre-lubricated condoms, this hot-wing-style appeteaser is nearly foolproof. You only need about an hour to prep & cook altogether, so there's really no excuse to shirk this recipe or fuck it up. Besides, we'll totally back you up when you tell your family & homies that you slaved over this shit for days, and that's how come it's so defuckinglicious...
What you will need:
- Rotisserie chicken OR any relatively plain, COOKED chicken
- Cream cheese (the real kind, not that neufchâtel, whipped, or low fat bullshit)
- Crystal (brand) hot sauce OR Your favorite Louisiana- or Buffalo-style h-sizz (this is not the time to flex nuts over how much heat you can take; get a mild-to-medium-heat brand with good flavor, cuz you're gunna be using a lot)
- Bleu cheese crumbles
- Sliced dill pickles OR dill gherkins (sliced by Y-O-U)
- Extra-sharp cheddar (grated)
How the fuck you do it:
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees (F).
- Lightly dowse the bottom of an 8"x4" (or similar size) baking dish with hot sauce.
- Cut your block of cream cheese into 6-8 equal squares and space them out evenly in the baking dish. Use a tablespoon or spatula to flatten the cubes out so there is very little of the bottom showing (doesn't have to be perfect), then spritz a little more hot sauce on top.
- Cut/shred the chicken (one breast half OR one thigh & drumstick) into smaller-than-bitesized chunks and remove any bone or hard fragments. Skin is OK but keep it small and mix it in well with the meat. Load this first portion of chicken on top of the cream cheese; give it some more hot sauce.
- Drop a healthy layer of bleu cheese crumbles over the chicken.
- Add another breast OR thigh/drum combo over the bleu cheese, and spritz again with your hot sauce.
- Completely cover the surface area with pickle slices, but don't overlap a bunch if you can avoid it.
- Spread your grated cheddar (we used white, but it doesn't matter what color as long as it's sharp in flavor) over the pickles, covering the green as much as possible. Give it one more blast with hot sauce, but NOT overboard. Red stripes across your cheese is way more attractive anyway.
- Throw that baking dish in the oven for about 30 minutes, or until the cheddar is totally melted and the edges are slightly browned. DON'T BE ALARMED if the cheddar that's hot-sauced looks like it didn't melt (the vinegar in the hot sauce prevents the cheese strands from bonding completely) because as soon as you dig a chip in, the cheddar will make friendly with the rest of your dip and look totally normal.
P.S.--Make sure you get a chip that's suited for heavy dipping, unless you want to pick crumbs and crackles out of the goo with a fork every 5 seconds.